Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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