You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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