I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize