I got chris browned last night
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize