I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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