he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize