That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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