it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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