I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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