I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I feel like a drive thru vagina
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize