I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize