First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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