Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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