We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize