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He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
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