There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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