The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
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When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
being pregnant is like rehab
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He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
tell me about the eggs
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