No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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