Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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