he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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