oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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