a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize