I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
false alarm, still single
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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