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Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
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