No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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