Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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