Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
vagina is talking i cant
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
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Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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