I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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