there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She even gives head with a lisp.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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