wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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