I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize