When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I AM VODKA MAN
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize