I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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