My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You've changed since you got that strap on
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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