those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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