the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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