arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize