While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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