dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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