You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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