im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will be naked everywhere
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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