Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize