All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
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I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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