I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize