apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize