therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize