would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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