You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize