you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize