I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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